No Longer

Surly I have learned my lessons
For I am no longer charmed by the football players sexy smile
I no longer carry on a Joey, Dawson love story with the boy next door
I no longer mistake lies and deception
As characteristics of a mysteries older man
I no longer roll with a boy whose love of substance out weights his love for me.
I am no longer so infatuated with a boy
So determined to find love with him that I almost lost myself
However before I can walk away from all the little boys
I had to walk away from the little girl I use to be.
I realized my conversation with football players friend went beyond friendly
I stopped leading the boy next door’s delusional love
After six years of "maybe" I freed him with a definite no.
I acknowledged my wrongs of being the other girl,
Being involved with a friend already taken by an enemy
I heard my Hippocratic words
Stopped lecturing
Long enough to clean all the unhealthy substance from my system
Including a love felt so deep
But wingless to get off the floor and fly
I removed the restraining order placed on my heart
Forgiving that man that was suppose to my husband
Long enough to say goodbye
I forgive myself for almost becoming that girl
So determined to love you
That I almost stopped loving myself
But no longer

"Twisted Elegance

Copyright © 2009 by Hayat Magan. All Rights Reserved